Someone asked me the other day; "you sing, you freedive, you're a nice person; what's the catch? What are your flaws?"
So here it is...
God giveth with one hand and taketh with the other.
He gave me an amazing singing voice. But he punished me by giving me a fondness for tasty food and the ability to burn absolutely everything I try to cook.
Here are a few examples of my cooking skills from the past 12 months or so.
14th October 2013 - Cheese for dinner
(Given up hope. Didn't even bother with a plate. Can you see the teeth marks?)
10th October 2013 - Garlic bread
24th September 2013 - Pizza
(And this was after I had had some cooking lessons from friends)
1st July 2013 - Coco pops in a pint glass
(My excuse for this one is that I was moving house and I was staying in a hotel in between moving)
13th March 2013 - Chicken Nuggets
I thought there was a funny smell coming from the kitchen. It was my lunch! Must have been hours...
29th Nov 2012 - Even my fried eggs are unhappy.
Why? Because I work to hard and often forget about feeding myself.
Do I still eat it? Yes! Because by this point I am really hungry! And who is to say that the second attempt will be any better.
How do I survive? I take vitamin supplements daily.
But hey, let's not judge too much! Here is a video of me doing something I can do...
Does this make up for it?
Hope this made you giggle.
NOTE: No pizza was harmed in the making of this blog.
Invitations for cooking lessons and dinner parties are gratefully received.
Otherwise the tragic cremating of food will continue.
Jennifer Coleman is a soprano who works as a classical singer and vocal coach. Available for performances across the UK and internationally.